


Even If It's Dark At Least We'll Be Together

by starrywrite



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: 2012 Phan, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Moving In Together, except Happy 2012 Phan not Cold Phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2260950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When me and Phil moved to London, we had no money, it was a terrible idea, and the whole thing was just based on this wild presumption that maybe Radio 1 would say yes to our show pilot that we sent them." - Dan Howell</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even If It's Dark At Least We'll Be Together

**Author's Note:**

> just a little something i whipped together, inspired by Dan’s most recent liveshow bc the little shit made me all kinds of emotional. enjoy!!!
> 
> oh and pls note that this may not be all that ~accurate~ to what happened irl but i just took creative liberty and had a bit of fun with the idea (◡‿◡✿)

“We should move to London.” Phil says one day, and it only makes sense for them to live in London; it’s closer to the BBC where they might be working one day and living in Manchester has been a bit of a setback for them, having to travel two hours every time the BBC asks them to stop by. Not to mention it’s closer to a lot of their friends, and their lease for the Manchester apartment is coming to an end and they’ve been mulling over whether they want to spend another two years there or not. 

But it’s also a bit of a longshot because London is expensive and they don’t have much money - their YouTube channels are both going really well for them but between the two of them, they make enough to get by currently and a few luxury items every now and again. London would be much different than what they’re used to. Not to mention, the BBC hasn’t even told them whether or not they’re going to say yes to their show pilot, so moving to London could jinx them entirely. 

But Phil’s talked him into it, and now they spend their nights cuddled in bed looking at apartments in London until they’ve settled on a place that’s reasonably priced and at a good location. They make an appointment to go look at it, and Phil falls in love with it almost immediately - Dan on the other hand is feeling all too anxious about moving, but Phil just throws an arm around him and promises him that this is going to work out. And Phil never breaks a promise. 

* * *

They’ve managed to scrape together enough for first and last month’s rent, though they still barely know how but it definitely explains why they don’t have money for groceries. But they get the keys to their flat, and Phil’s so happy that he hugs Dan and almost picks him up, but he’s not strong enough for that so he just hugs him happily. 

Dan weakly returns the hug, still feeling a bit uneasy about using all of their money to move out to London and taking a chance on the BBC that revolves around them taking a chance on them. “I know what you’re thinking.” Phil cuts into his thoughts. “But this flat is going to look like a home in no time.” 

Dan sighs a little. “We can’t really afford furniture, Phil.” he points out. “I don’t see how this place is going to look - or feel - like home with nothing in it.” Phil doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then he stands behind Dan, covering his eyes with his hands. “What are you -”

“Just close your eyes,” Phil says. “And imagine this lounge filled with furniture - a couch and a coffee table and a TV, maybe even a fireplace. Can you see it?” 

“Yes,” Dan tells him.

“Good. Now keep that picture in your mind,” Phil lowers his hands from Dan’s face and he kisses his cheek. “And before you know it, that’s what this flat is going to look like. Trust me.” 

Dan sighs again. “Okay, I trust you.” he says, then turns to face Phil, a smile - partly forced but partly genuine - on his face as he says, “Let’s do this.”

* * *

Before they know it today’s the day - moving in day to be exact. Not that there’s really anything to move so to speak; they don’t have any furniture of their own and seeing as they’re moving into their apartment unfurnished, the only things they have to transfer from Manchester to London are the few things they already own which includes, but isn’t limited to, a giant stuffed Totoro, a collection of DVDs, and so many wires and plugs to cameras and laptops and other miscellaneous things. 

 

“Are you sure this was a good idea?” Dan asks for the tenth time as he helps Phil carry a box upstairs - the DVD box and it’s heavy as _fuck_ and Dan’s starting to think that an apartment with so many stairs isn’t the best idea. 

“Putting all of our DVDs in one box?” Phil asks, huffing a bit as he makes it to the top of the stairs, then promptly loses his grip on the box which causes them both to box it. They look at it for a moment, edges tearing and DVDs starting to spill out, before just waving it off because they can’t be bothered. Not right no at least.

“No I mean… this.” Dan motions to the room they empty room they’re standing in, which Dan assumes is going to be the lounge. “London and moving and the pilot and -”

“Dan,” Phil interrupts, a small smile on his face. “You’re worrying too much. Now trust me, this is all going to work out just fine.” 

Dan sighs. “We’ve literally done everything based on the fact that the BBC might pick up our pilot episode, and we haven’t even heard back from them in days.” he points out. “For all we know they could’ve turned it down already.”

“If they turned it down, then they would’ve told us,” Phil says patiently. “All we can do is wait until they contact us, and while we’re waiting we might as well get this flat together. Now, stop worrying and help me find the blow up mattress.”

* * *

Their first night in their new apartment is nothing like Dan had expected it to be. It looks nothing like an apartment is supposed to look like - for one there’s no furniture, so every room is vacant, and since they can’t afford to buy any furniture yet, they’re currently sleeping on an air mattress trying to pass the time by watching DVDs on their laptops (which is the only thing they can do on their laptops since they haven’t set the wifi up yet). And Dan can’t just seem to get into good spirits about this place. It doesn’t feel like home; it feels like they’re out camping or at a sleepover, and Dan just doesn’t understand how Phil can be so positive and upbeat about their situation. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” Phil says as Dan shuts his laptop. 

“Do what?” Dan inquires. 

“Walk around with a rain cloud permanently over your head,” Phil’s smile is teasing, but he’s right and Dan knows it; he’s been nothing but grouchy and grumpy about all of this - moving, not having any money, not having a bed. He _knows_ he’s had a shit attitude about it, but we can’t all be like Phil ‘Let’s Look On The Bright Side’ Lester, now can we?

“Ha ha.” he says sarcastically, and he shuts off the lamp, ready to go to bed, because at least in his dreams, their flat isn’t completely shitty. 

* * *

This is a bit pathetic, and Dan isn’t sure if it’s because they’re _still_ waiting on a reply from the BBC that’s making him so cranky about their living arrangements but c’mon; the only thing they’ve got going for them right now is the fact that they’ve got the internet hooked up, and other than that all they’ve got is an air mattress set up in one of the bedrooms that they’ve been sharing for the past couple of days and a greasy box of pizza that’s almost empty because they’ve been trying to make it last a week. 

This was probably a terrible idea because they have no money and they’ve only been living here for about a week but Dan doesn’t know how they’re going to pay rent when the time comes or pay their bills or even afford dinner tonight, and living here is more stress than it’s worth. 

“Why’re you sad, bear?” Phil asks him one day, because he finds Dan lying on the floor, probably looking at pitiful as he feels, and he kneels down next to him, brushing his hair out of his face.

“The BBC still hasn’t called us.” Dan says. “And we’re out of pizza. And I’m out of patience.” he sits up so he can look at Phil. “What if they don’t pick up our pilot idea?” he asks him. “What if they don’t want us to work for them? And what if moving out here was nothing but a mistake? And -”

“Dan, please,” Phil silences him by kissing him on the forehead, and then pulling him into a hug. Dan presses his face against the crook of Phil’s neck and he lets the older boy give him a tight squeeze. “It’s going to be okay. Even if everything ends up going straight to hell, I have you and you have me, and that’s all we need. We’re going to be okay here, I promise.” 

Dan doesn’t say anything; he just sighs a little and reminds himself that Phil never breaks his promises. 

* * *

They decide to finally buy some furniture but they still really don’t have much money, so they’ve resorted to buying everything from Argos. And boy, are they getting their money’s worth. 

Furniture is _so_ expensive and neither of them were prepared for that at all - especially since their flat in Manchester was furnished - but at Argos they don’t have to assemble anything they buy and it’s so cheap you’d think it was haunted. So to say that they jumped on the opportunity to finally furnish their apartment would be an understatement. 

They slowly start to fill their apartment with things; a coffee table in the lounge, a chest of drawers in Phil’s room, even a small desk for the office. And yes, their apartment is _finally_ starting to look and feel like a home - the only downside is, they’ve definitely gotten what they’ve paid for and Dan finds himself wishing that their furniture was haunted because that would be better than the utter crap they own. But Phil is still so upbeat about all of it; he doesn’t care that whenever he tries to open his chest of drawers that one of them comes out completely and his socks spill everywhere or the fact that the desk in the office is so fragile they don’t want to risk putting a laptop on it. It’s like nothing can bring Phil down and all he does is look on the bright side, and sometimes Dan finds it a bit annoying but it’s starting to inspire him to try and look at things in the same light as Phil does. 

A month later, the fifteen pound coffee table completely collapses beneath the weight of Dan’s bowl of cereal. And when Phil finds him lying on the floor next to a broken coffee table and a split bowl of cereal, he expects to see him crying or cursing but he’s not - he’s _laughing_. In fact, he’s actually in tears from laughing so hard, and Phil just smiles. Looks like the grey raincloud over Dan’s head is finally floating away. 

* * *

“Whatcha looking at?” 

Dan shuts his laptop quicking. “Nothing!” 

Phil raises an eyebrow. “Dan…” he reaches out and opens his laptop, revealing Dan to be browsing on the IKEA website, looking at bedsheets. He seems to be set on a particular one - it’s grey and black and white, Dan’s favorite colors, and it’s checkered and even Phil can’t deny that it would look great in Dan’s room. 

“I don’t want it.” Dan says immediately, and Phil knows he’s lying because he won’t meet his eyes while he speaks. “I just got bored and started looking.” 

Phil frowns a little; it’s not as if Dan’s used to getting whatever he wants because he never really asks for much to begin with, but Phil can tell he wants this and if they were living in Manchester, Phil would tell him to jump on it and get it. But now they’re in London and money is tight and neither of them can buy whatever they want anymore. “I’ve seen this comforter set before,” Phil tells him. “I think they have a set in blue and green, too.”

“Phil, we can’t afford it.” Dan tells him. 

“Maybe not right now,” Phil says. “But one day.”

* * *

About a month later, Dan comes home with groceries to see the grey and black and white checkered comforter from IKEA in his room and he all but stops in his tracks. It looks a bit silly over the air mattress in his room, because they still haven’t gotten around to finding a cheap bed frame that won’t break, but he doesn’t care, he loves it and he runs to find Phil to give him the biggest hug ever, muttering “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” over and over again.

* * *

Just when they’ve started getting used to living off of cold pizza and sleeping on the floor, it happens. They get the call from the BBC with the big news: they’ve got their own radio show every Sunday night for two hours. Needless to say they have to excuse themselves for a moment to briefly celebrate, which include the two of them screaming into pillows and hugging each other, before they get back on the the phone and say “thank you” repeatedly.

“I told you!” Phil tackles Dan, hugging him tightly and he kisses all over the younger boy’s face. “I told you - it all worked out!”

“You told me,” Dan laughs, kissing Phil back. “You were right. Not that I ever doubted you.” Phil just rolls his eyes and he cuddles Dan on their air mattress, thinking about how in just a matter of time the two of them will be cuddling on a proper bed.

* * *

They have several successful shows, which results in them getting paid very well and they’re so grateful for everything that’s happened to them ever since getting that phone call.

Now their apartment looks like an actual apartment, and over the next few months it starts to fill with proper furniture that won’t break and they can stop sleeping on air mattresses because they can afford actual beds now. But it doesn’t matter how many material things they now have - that doesn’t make it home. This apartment was always home, and it might’ve taken Dan a while to realize it but now he knows that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. _A person_. 

And whenever he’s with Phil, he’s home.


End file.
